CryptoPoops.

Ladies and Gentlemen, shortly following the April 1st holiday of tomfoolery and shenanigans, we’re thrilled to announce the launch of a very serious project: CryptoPoops. Hear me out, this is very real, and one of the most exciting initiatives that I’ve ever been a part of.

Let me preface by saying that I consider the current infatuation with NFTs to be absurd. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a crypto enthusiast for many years now, and I think there are some incredible, groundbreaking things happening in both the space in general and with NFTs. That said, people are also buying some real crap for stupid reasons at insane prices. Art has been singular and existed since the dawn of man, and sure there are some interesting pieces being done right now, but there are also a lot of just goofy illustrations. That said I recognize that artistic value is in the eye of the beholder, and it is fantastic that so many people are being made so happy with this technology!

And so as a contribution to these festivities, we humbly submit to you our CryptoPoops. Our team has carefully crafted some of the funniest, most adorable shits on the internet. In addition to the fantastic Eric Wedum’s illustrations and branding, our team has built a sophisticated blockchain backend to drop these little shits, gilded with some of the latest in NLP technology to give each turd a unique AI-generated origin story. Our mission is to create the best shits on the internet in hopes that the community will enjoy and cherish them.

We’re going to try to make some of that internet money too. The CryptoPoops team will earn revenue from the initial sale of these poops. We’ll be putting a lot of that back to work to make more funny shit, but also hope to bring success to our team of 7, the “Shitty Avengers”. That said, most of the money in these things is made by holding the shit as it gains in popularity and appreciates in value. HODL’ing if you will. We’ve setup a gaming mechanism that lets the first buyers purchase at a price dramatically cheaper than the last buyers, encouraging users to get in early. A shitty pyramid if you will. I believe there are some really interesting mechanics to this market, and that these things will be regulated in the longterm, but they are not right now. I will for sure be eating my own shit here - I plan to buy a lot of poops in the same free market as everybody else, and if this is successful the early adopters and I will make a bunch of money. Happy to help you get setup if you’re interested. Crypto is as high-risk high-reward as it gets, buy shit responsibly.

CryptoPoops will go on sale on 4/20, and we’ll be announcing details on the launch as we get closer to the date. If you’re interested, please join our Discord chat — I finally bit the bullet and setup an account just for this. We’re happy to help anybody get up and running if you want to participate, please reach out however you like. We hope you enjoy our shit!